Ahhh the good old subject of change. Many people view change as something positive and I know many more people who are terrified of the matter of change. It really depends on your past expierences. But for me change is a good thing however its a very terrifying one as well. So many negative things have happened to me when a major thing in my life has changed, but so many more positives ones have happened as well. What I am going through right now has to be the biggest change I have ever expierenced. let alone the fact that it is all happening because of me. I made the choice to make it change, now I have to live with it.
5 years is how long it took me to finally take this giant step. Finally a single mom without the father around, finally sleeping with no one to protect me, finally facing my fears. The problem is it is a very tough situation for me, the fact that my daughter is not as oblivious as I would like her to be makes a roug h situation almost unbearable. The fact that she sits on the stairs and tucks her knees into her chest and whines about not talking to her dad. The fact that a stranger knocks on the door and she runs to it thinking its her father. The fact that lance talks to her on the phone and tells her when he gets back hes going to take her outside and she starts crying. All of those things makes it so difficult for me to carry through with the change. But i know that it has only been a matter of four days and things are always rough in the beggining. But i think this change had to be the best one i took a step for.
Though there are negative things about this change. There are also positive. .. Speaking of positive I just got a beautiful three year old little girl asking to take her to the park. So i am going to go to the park and finish this later.
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