My past pt 1.

I have been writing songs so much that I forgot about my poetry. So I am working on a continued project of my past. Hopefully it gives those of you who know me a little bit more information on me. Please don't take anything I say hypothetical, everything I say is literal. There is no warping things.


Im gonna tell everyone what they dont know about me.
ill start off with the fact that my memory
doesnt go before the age of 13.
my childhood, I can't remember a thing
and please take that literally
and with that being said theres some controversy
what its about what happened to me.
but fuck it im going to lay it all on the line
I was abused, which is why in due time
youll find, that im not a typical kind
of girl, who sits with her finger in a twirl
around her hair, whos acts like theres no cares
i have a deeper mind, than most.
i shut down and disconnect with no goodbye toast
i have my issues, yeah i have my past
the worst fucked up father you would ever look at
hes a con artist, takes peoples life savings
acting like a pastor, except theirs no praying
hes has a direct ticket to hell, to burn in the flames
and yes in high school, i lost everything i gained.
i literally had to start with the clothes on my back
thank god my mother, was able to put me back on track
i walked out of the house, barely escaping arrest
ask anyone in my life and they can attest
you might think im over exagerating, most do.
infact i haven't even told you a quarter what ive been through
ive been beaten down hallways,
locked in a house for years, months and days.
14 years old, and i had to brave
a dad who was fucking mentally insane.
locked my clothes in a closet to where i couldnt get them
wore the same things for a year straight, barely fit in em
he had warrants out in every state, i had to sit there and lie so he could escape
ill bring it back to the fact that I was abused
and tell you the exact kind of abuse that i went through
yes physical and emotional, yeah ive hit on it.
sexual abuse, i don't want to know my mind is hidden on it.
there is no difinitive answer
so it eats at me like its physical cancer
I try to move on, try to notch it as disregard
but i cant thats why im left with my walls and guard
People think that I am hard or a bitch
but in reality im so sensitive I can't stand it
alot of you put doubt in me, because they are used to liars
when infact i am one of the most honest person you will ever meet
im loyal and tell you what i feel and what I mean.

So where do you see yourself in 5 years?

This question has always been one for me that I would just make up on the spot. Mainly because I never have been looking forward to the future. It has always been something in my mind that was the kind of situation of "wherever life takes me". Now being 23 years old with a daughter who is about to be 5, I am looking forward to the tomorrow more and more. So I am going to break down where I see myself in five years.


Five years from today I see myself either done with college or near completion to a degree with hopefully something involved in computers.

Five years I see my little girl being 10 years old and being a very active, happy and smart little girl.

In five years I see me engaged if not married with our own home and me possibly having my second child.

In five years I hope to be happy and healthy.

I just hope I can see five years from today.