Free Spirit.

Typical? Special? Average? Extra-Oridnary?

How does my life compare with others? Should I care? Usually I am so worried about the fact that I have been through so much in my life. While my Iq is higher than most, also with more of a sensitive heart, and a slight anger problem. I also held this thought in my head, I don't know where it originated from. Ever since I was a child, I literally look at things through a lense. I can not explain it. I see the beauty in everything. I knew I was put here to change something. Something that would make a difference. Although, for the people who I have loved and cared about. I have had a huge impact on them and it seems to be for the better. There is a bigger goal for me.

The problem with me is I care about so many different subjects and things. I can not decide what it is I am supossed to do. I feel like me as one person is not making an imprint on this earth and god forbid I were to pass tomorrow, I want to be remembered for something I was. I don't want to be remembered for my past or what thoughts I had. I want to leave the world a better place than how I found it. With so much corruption and evil that is in this world. I find it hard to be who I want to be. I find myself on defense so much from what has happened to me. I find myself looking out for me and people within my tight knit circle. But that is not my soul. My soul wants to reach out and help every person in pain. Call it corny, don't believe me. I don't care.


There is a reason I have the peace sign tatted on my head. It is not because of a trend. It stands for the depth of my soul that I can not always express. To penetrate my shell and see the real me is a difficult thing. Some find impossible. Some find easy. Some just never take the time. In any case. I want to make major changes that need to take place in my life so I can be happy.
You never know when life is going to be taken from you. I never want to take a day for granted. I don't want to leave with my desires left unfilled. I guess like linkin park, you could say in the end it doesn't really matter. But it does. It matters for my daughters future. For all of our kids future. Your imprint on this world and people. Changes everything.

I am in one of my calm, philosophical mind frames I guess you could say. I am calm. There is no need to bitch or be upset. I feel the need to better things. Starting with my own life. I honestly think had this been a few decades prior I would of been a hippie. :) Maybe that is it. Maybe I can not think of what to do and have a hard time because I am supposed to be a free spirit. A child of earth..............Nahhhhhhhhh. I am here to make the world a better place for my daughter. Even if its by just one thing.


Where to start..where to start?

Tears For The Sweet.

On the phone listening to you sleep...
This distance is killing me slowly, it's cutting me deep...
Of course the inevitable tears running down my cheeks...
I wish I had you here to wipe the tears away...
Always there to make sure I am okay...
To be happy..for years I would pray..
Finally I am seeing a better day..
But your not here.. at least not today.
The miles betweeen us
yet there is still love and trust.
But being with you is a must.
Because I can never picture our love a bust.


I never want to lose you.
I never want to hurt you.
I just want to love you.
Be able to comfort you.


I can sit here with love songs replaying in my head.
But the sweetest love song is the one not sang yet.
I look foward to our future together.
I love you and that changing is never.
My comfort and my security reside within you.
In your arms..I felt complete all the way through.
I finally cry not just out of lies, hits or cheats..
I cry tears for the sweet.
I am so thankful for you I could meet.
Embrace your warmth and love within sheets.
I love you Michael, I want our future to be bright.
For there to be more love than of our fights.


I never want to lose you.
I never want to hurt you.
I just want to love you.
Be able to comfort you.


The next two months will bring change.
Hopefully will ease some pain.
Get to see each other everyday.
In bed with one another lay.
Feel one anothers love and sincerity.
Once in our lives have some clarity
I love you and there is nothing more clearer than that.
As you hold me in your arms and hearts relax.
We love each other and thats the clearest of the facts.
I can not wait to live with you and share my life.
One day have kids and hopefully become your wife.
All i know Is i love you and i know this is right.


I never want to lose you.
I never want to hurt you.
I just want to love you.
Be able to comfort you.

The Hatchet.

Everyone ALWAYS asks "What is a Juggalo?" Everyone has their different meaning of it. But everyone can agree it means family. It means being yourself and having your own fucking meaning to it. However being a juggalo was to accept people for who they are. We had the freaks, the outcasts, the loners, the jocks, whoever the fuck was down. WAS DOWN. Now we have these stupid little mother fuckers coming up and repping the hatchet. Fucking beating women, being racists and saying its a gang. ITS NOT A FUCKING GANG.I DON'T CARE WHAT ANY OF YOU SAY IT IS NOT A GANG. Its a family, homies, down for each other to have each others fucking back. These mother fuckers that don't know shit about what it means to be down. Is ruining our fucking name. Getting the shit banned in high schools. Getting it now "gang affiliated" with the cops. Shit is stupid.

I will always be a juggalo. However there is a certain extent that I am now. If I know your down, and truely down and willing to help out other fam. I will fucking help you out and shit. However Im not any longer taking peoples words for it. It has to be proven. Too many pieces of shit are backstabbing family and causing mad drama within the fam. SHUT THE FUCK UP. STOPPING CREATING DRAMA WITHIN EACH OTHER. I used to rock a dope ass hatchet man on the back of my car. I took the shit off. Not because Im not down, I will always be down. However, alot of the juggalos that I know about here in vegas. Are fucking trash. They don't know what it means to be a juggalo. Don't get me wrong. THERE ARE ALOT OF DOWN ASS JUGGALOS HERE THAT I KNOW. However, the majority down here are fucking shit. One of my good friends has been going through ALOT of shit from some juggalos. Some racists, women beating juggalos down here. Its not even fucking right. The family down here is becoming a fucking trend and not a family. You see someone walking in the mall and say whoop whoop they dont say shit back.


I got involved with the hatchet after seeing the unity. The shit to have each others back. The shit to be down and not fuck over family. It was a family I didn't have. Now the shit is turning fucking twisted. and not TWIZTID. I miss the old fam. I miss the way it was. There are still the older juggalos and some newer ones that still know what the fuck is up. And i love mother fuckers like that. I will always be down. But people are turning this shit upside down and turning it into a negative fucking thing. Instead of a positive.

Also, say what you want. But the artists on psychopathic are suppossed to be all about not selling out. Anti-Mtv and radio shit right? Im starting to smell bullshit when i hear icps shit being advertised on the radio. Im just saying It is not what it was. And when i can go to a random local jewelry shop here and they have the hatchet man. I honestly dont like that shit.
Me and mike went to fucking luxor to see the bodies exhibit he had on his chain of course as we both did. We went out and was looking at the oxygen bar when the stupid whore at the bar was talking about his chain and said "this is becoming very popular now" and then something about it being a trend i dont remember exactly what she said. Shit like that pisses me off.


I miss the fam being fam. I will always be down. But can we please make this shit fucking correct.


RANT OVER.