Off of a cliff

What happens when the one person you trust the most to never hurt you, crushes you? The one person that takes you from the edge of the cliff daily, pushes you over? What is left? What are you left to do except dig your finger nails into the edge of the cliff and use your own strength to try and pull yourself up. Then that person that pushed you over the cliff grabs your hand to help you back up. It was a mistake they say, they want to help you back up to safe and solid ground. So you grab their hand but what happens if their hand slips from yours? What if their strength isn't enough to pick you back up? Then where are you left? Slowly falling...until you meet your own demise.

What happens if that person that pushed you off the edge, picks you back up. Then they want you stand on the edge again and expect them not to push you off again. Supposed to put your whole faith into the person that just did you in. Would you be able to? Or would you just run as far away from the edge as you could.

That's what I feel now. The one person I thought that wouldn't hurt me the most. Abandoned me, was there one minute and the next few days disappeared. No matter the hundreds of calls and texts nothing I said could make him call me. Only to find out he had cheated on me. Now that same person wants a second chance. The same person that just pushed me off the cliff now wants me to grab their hand as they try to pull me back up. I have never been so unsure of anything in my life. Holding on to his hand while my feet dangle above sharp cliffs. Is the one who just threw me into danger, going to be the one who saves me? Or will he just let my hand slip?

How am I supposed to ever feel loved and trust anyone again after this? Why can't he see that I might never be the same... That things with us will never be the same. I am scared I will never stop running away from that edge when I am finally pulled up. I don't see me having the strength to stand on that edge again and put trust of him to not push me over.

He states its only been five days, to give it time... does time really heal everything? I am still feeling the pain for things that happened 6-7 years ago. Will I ever be able to feel loved without him showing it 24/7. I don't know. All I know is I am tired of crying and feeling empty inside. God please give me a break from this pain. Let things get easier. Give me the strength to continue on the right path. Please let someone grab my hand and have the strength to pull me up and hold me far away from that edge, until i feel safe enough to walk up to it again and put the blind faith I once had back into standing next to that edge.

Please pick me back up, when you do hold me as far away from that cliff as i need until i feel safe to walk back up to it.. You have my hand, don't let me slip away....