Free Spirit.

Typical? Special? Average? Extra-Oridnary?

How does my life compare with others? Should I care? Usually I am so worried about the fact that I have been through so much in my life. While my Iq is higher than most, also with more of a sensitive heart, and a slight anger problem. I also held this thought in my head, I don't know where it originated from. Ever since I was a child, I literally look at things through a lense. I can not explain it. I see the beauty in everything. I knew I was put here to change something. Something that would make a difference. Although, for the people who I have loved and cared about. I have had a huge impact on them and it seems to be for the better. There is a bigger goal for me.

The problem with me is I care about so many different subjects and things. I can not decide what it is I am supossed to do. I feel like me as one person is not making an imprint on this earth and god forbid I were to pass tomorrow, I want to be remembered for something I was. I don't want to be remembered for my past or what thoughts I had. I want to leave the world a better place than how I found it. With so much corruption and evil that is in this world. I find it hard to be who I want to be. I find myself on defense so much from what has happened to me. I find myself looking out for me and people within my tight knit circle. But that is not my soul. My soul wants to reach out and help every person in pain. Call it corny, don't believe me. I don't care.


There is a reason I have the peace sign tatted on my head. It is not because of a trend. It stands for the depth of my soul that I can not always express. To penetrate my shell and see the real me is a difficult thing. Some find impossible. Some find easy. Some just never take the time. In any case. I want to make major changes that need to take place in my life so I can be happy.
You never know when life is going to be taken from you. I never want to take a day for granted. I don't want to leave with my desires left unfilled. I guess like linkin park, you could say in the end it doesn't really matter. But it does. It matters for my daughters future. For all of our kids future. Your imprint on this world and people. Changes everything.

I am in one of my calm, philosophical mind frames I guess you could say. I am calm. There is no need to bitch or be upset. I feel the need to better things. Starting with my own life. I honestly think had this been a few decades prior I would of been a hippie. :) Maybe that is it. Maybe I can not think of what to do and have a hard time because I am supposed to be a free spirit. A child of earth..............Nahhhhhhhhh. I am here to make the world a better place for my daughter. Even if its by just one thing.


Where to start..where to start?